Candle in the Wind
by KayRich13
Summary: AU: She was an actress at the top with many dark secrets. He was a movie producer who was just getting started, and all he wanted to do was save her life.
1. Preface

Hey so I know its been a long time, but I'm back with a new summer fic. This is just a preface for what is to come. I will be updating once a week. I have part of chapter one in the works and would love feedback to see what you guys think. Your opinions are what will help shape the story as it continues.

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"She was a girl who knew how to be happy even when she was sad. And that's important—you know"

― Marilyn Monroe

August 5th, 1942

I packed all of my things finally. It's not that I have that many things of course, it's just the mere idea of leaving Aunt Glenda frightens me so. She's so frail and green that it makes me worry, I worry that she's falling ill. But she told me that's not my place to be worried about her anymore, and that I shouldn't be trying to get out of marrying John tomorrow. Honest to goodness, I swear that I'm not trying to get out of anything by any means. John is a nice enough man, he's never short or hot tempered and has never laid a hand on me. I do love him, just not in a way that a girl should love a man. I love him in the way that a girl my age would love her older brother.

Hopefully, my love for him will grow with time, because I know that this could very well be my only chance at a good life. I know that I'm young to be getting married at only sixteen years of age. Yet knowing that Aunt Glenda barely has enough to feed me, let alone herself, that just the thought of inconveniencing her for another day, nearly makes my heart rip into two pieces.

I know that my only option is to go through with the marriage to John. It's that or get sent back to the orphanage and be sent to a new family every time that I speak out of turn or misbehave. Having to deal with those awful men whom I'm supposed to call "Daddy" and ask me help them in their offices. Instead them wanting my help with something, they shut the door once I come in and whisper in my ear not to scream as they reach beneath my shabby skirt.

The thought of ever having to go through those kinds of horrible things again makes my head hurt and sends and dark and unpleasant shiver down my whole spine. I would much rather go through with his arrangement than to ever have to feel so used ever again,

I didn't realize how late it was getting until looking over at the clock just now. I should put this pen down and be heading off to bed for the night, knowing that things will be busy in the morning, and that change is coming my way.


	2. Chapter 1

** Hey everybody, I'm so sorry that this update took so long. I will be updating pretty regularly from here on out, and least once a week probably on weekends. I want to thank everyone who read and reviewed the preface; you guys are the reason the updates happen. This first chapter may be a little confusing because of some of the names, but it will eventually make sense within the next two chapters are so, so bear with me. Enjoy!**

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Today is the day of our wedding, and I'm standing here placing the last minute touches on my makeup in the courthouse bathroom. Merely just trying to pass the time before our name gets called. It seems almost absurd for me to be doing my makeup, seeing as how it'll be just John and I. But it seems like the least I can do for him is to be a presentable wife, after everything that he's willing to do for me.

"Franny, we're up sweetie." He calls softly from outside the door.

"Coming." I reply tossing my hair back a little before putting my lipstick and mascara back into my pocketbook.

I take a long breath and slowly make my way to the door. Opening it to find John standing there smiling ever so sweetly at me.

"You ready?" He asks, gently taking my arm in his.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I tell him innocently, trying to make it sound like I'm looking forward to being with him. I am, but I'm not looking forward to being with him as a wife, I look forward to it in regards to her really good friendship and nothing else. He's sweet enough that he deserves at least that much from me.

We stand in front of a judge, and the little older couple they were witnesses for the last few weddings that had taken place earlier today. We say our "I do's" and exchange simple gold rings, and John said were about fifty dollars a piece. This seemed like an awful lot of money to me for just a piece of metal. But John argued, that it was special and worth every penny. This ring is one of the most expensive things that I have ever owned in my whole life.

After that the judge offers the words: "You may now kiss the bride." Knowing how sheepish I can be about any sort of intimacy, he hesitates just looking at me. I smile and shake my head a little, letting them know that I don't want to kiss him.• So, he just kisses my cheek gently and takes my arm again as we head to the steps of the courthouse

Once outside we get to the car and he opens my door for me like the perfect gentleman would and then walks around to the driver's seat. The ride to his house, or our house now I should say, is full of silence. I don't mind, I actually prefer the quiet over everything else. It's just much more comfortable to me.

Any time there is loud noise and gives me these flashes, bringing me back to when I was a child, and my mother was screaming and laughing all at the same time as a group of doctors dragged her out of our house. I really don't like seeing those flashes, it honestly really frightens me. I wish that that wasn't the last picture of my mother that I often carry around with me inside my head, but that was the last time I saw her.

I stare out the windows, just looking wondrously at all of the trees, as we the driveway to the home that John and I will share together. It's a small house, painted a sort of white with red colored shutters. It's much more beautiful than any other house I have ever seen.

I flash John another small smile as he comes around to help me out of the car. I wait there and watch as he moves to get my bags from the trunk. Normally, I would have offered to help, but I know he would have just declined my offer and done it himself anyway. He believes that these are the kinds of things that man should do for his wife. Not that I don't agree, but my bags aren't that heavy, and I would be perfectly capable of lifting them out of the trunk and taking them inside myself.

He comes around and takes my hand after getting the two bags that I brought with me and we walked inside the house together. He doesn't bother to set them down, to stop and lift me up to carry me over that threshold. I'm glad that he doesn't do that, and my guess was that he thinks that that would make me uncomfortable, and he would be right.

He pauses for a moment, to look over at me. Then turns away quickly, as he leads to the small master bedroom, which we'll share.

"I'll leave you to get settled then." He mumbles after setting everything on the bed for me. He stalks off quietly before I even have the chance to utter a simple "Thank you."

I open my bags, and began to unpack the few clothes that I own. I put them away in a small drawer that has been clearly left empty for my sake, with the exception of a nightgown that I plan on changing into afterwards.

Once everything is put away I change my clothes and take a moment to lie on the mattress. Within minutes, I feel my eyelids getting heavy and my limbs feel as if they weigh hundreds of pounds. Before I know it, I'm fast and those awful flashes from when I was a young girl fill my dreams.

X

I know that morning is coming as those flashes finally began to fade. I wake up to find myself actually in the bed and underneath the cotton sheets. I reach up as I feel a piece of paper crinkling on my pillow. It turns out to be a note from John that reads: "I know that I'm not who you want, but I will do my best to make you happy." And I look across the room to find a brand-new light purple cotton nightgown hanging on the curtain rod in the window.

As sweet as this note is, it makes my heart ache, because deep down I know that he deserves more. He deserves a wife who actually loves him.


	3. Chapter 2

**Hey everybody, so here is the next chapter as promised. Now I will say, that it is a little longer and that I worked my ass off to get this posted for you by today so please send more lovely reviews, because they are the reason that this chapter is even posted on time this week. I want to thank everyone who has been sending me such kind reviews, and hopefully this is the chapter that all makes sense and really starts to put things together. Enjoy!**

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July 8th, 1947

So much has happened since I last wrote. It's been about five years. Where do I even begin? The last time that I wrote in here was the day before my marriage to John, so I guess I should start with that.

After John and I married, things seemed somewhat simple and easy for the first time in my life. I worked at a radio plane munitions factory and inspected airplane parts and parachutes. I was amazed how happy John was for me to be having a job. He said that it would be good for me, give me something to do, something to be good at, something for me to be proud of.

The one thing about the factory that he was not impressed with, was the outfit I was expect to wear. It was just a simple blue blouse and a pair of clean white shorts. He said it was the shorts that bothered him. He felt that a married woman shouldn't be showing her legs in the manner, and that he was the only one who should be able to look at them.

I can understand why John felt the way that he did, but it almost made him seem possessive. I really was almost frightened by that possessive side of his, it almost felt like I was owned by someone else and that really made me quite uncomfortable. He said that it was them wondering eyes of the other men in the factory that made them angry and not me. I'll admit that I did see a few pairs of eyes glance my way, but what girl doesn't like a bit of attention every now and then?

About two years after I started at the factory, someone approached me to model for a magazine of women in support of the war effort. I was so honored to be asked and gladly took the offer. I felt like the dreams that I had as a child of becoming a star might actually be happening for me. Even though none of my photos unfortunately made it into the magazine, it must have created some buzz, because few months after that I was asked to sign with a modeling agency.

Now at this point, my relationship with my husband had long fallen apart. He had enlisted in the service just before our country had headed off to war. I may never have been truly in love with him, but the idea of him going off and fighting in combat made my stomach twist and turn. I had gotten almost to my knees and begged him for a baby before being sent to deployment.

He said he wasn't ready for the responsibility of a child. But I argued, they he went after worry because I would be the one to care for it while he was away. He dismissed my argument completely, and said that that wasn't fair to him, or to me and that if we were to have a baby it should be done when we were both together and ready.

John had promised me that we would discuss having a child again when he came back home. But I knew deep down in my heart that that would never happen. I may not have loved him the way that I should have, but I thought that if we had a baby that it could be something that we could love unconditionally together. In knowing that my relationship with him would never go back to the simpleness and innocent sweetness that it once had, I decided that it would be best if we dissolved our marriage and he would be set free.

Once my divorce was final I left the factory for good, and signed with the small modeling agency. For one of my first shoots, it was asked that I pose nude for a calendar. This seemed easy enough, I had never been the type of girl who was uncomfortable about her body, and I was more than happy to show it off. So on the day of the shoot, we went to a beach in Santa Monica to take some photos.

It was by far the most freeing thing I have ever experienced in my life. I could remember being a young girl and seeing all the other girls in my class so uncomfortable with their bodies and constantly trying to cover themselves up. I always thought that that was absolutely crazy, and that a girl should love her body the way that it is and not be afraid to show it.

During the shoot I was given a blanket to cover myself with if I felt uncomfortable with being completely exposed. I used it for the first few photos, just showing off my bare shoulders or thighs, but by the end of the day that blanket had blown across the beach and into the sand.

Since then I have posed for several men's magazines and calendars, and a few weeks ago I was approached by a producer from Paramount pictures. His name he said was Lee Johnson and he invited me up to his home to spend a few days with him and his family to discuss my career and giving me a film contract.

The meeting is tomorrow afternoon, and I don't think that I've ever been quite so nervous. This could be my chance to be a real star, the one that I've always dreamed about being. Maybe I could end up being as great as my favorite actress, and be the next Jean Harlow. But only time will tell, and I just hope that tomorrow goes smoothly and that Lee and his family all like me.

I suppose that I should stop writing go decide on the outfit that I should be wearing tomorrow/. I want to make a very good first impression, knowing that chances like these only come once-in-a-lifetime.

X

Last night I couldn't sleep, because I was thinking too much about my meaning with Lee later today. I got up at 5 o'clock this morning and got dressed in my best outfit. I'm standing in in my small bathroom, carefully removing the curlers from my hair. I take them out one by one, and watch as each one falls into a perfect fiery red curl, all of them together framing my face. I take my time doing my makeup, reminding myself that I do have all morning before I have to leave.

I then walk to the kitchen once I'm finished getting dolled up, and attempt to at least try to eat a banana. But after the first bite I can already feel my stomach churning and the butterflies rising. I know that I need to find some way to keep myself occupied until I make my way over to Lee's house. So I decide to sit on the sofa and read for a little while, but after about half a page I can feel my legs twitching and shaking from all the nerves.

I sigh in frustration before tossing the book aside, before going to slip on my best and only pair of high heels that I own. After that I grab my pocketbook from the hook by the front door and make my way out to my car. Putting my keys in the ignition, I begin to start it knowing that it could take a few minutes since it's a used car that I bought off of a lot for seventy-five dollars. I put my fifty dollar wedding band towards paying for the cost of the car since I wouldn't be needing it anymore, the other twenty-five dollars I took out of one of my paychecks after paying the electric bill.

By the time that the engine for my sad excuse of a car turns over, it's time for me to make my way over to my big meeting, which makes me glad that I decided to start the car early. I followed the directions that he had written down for me a few weeks ago when we first met.

As it turns out, he only lives just a few towns away from me, so it wasn't all that difficult to find. Once I get there, his wife and two beautiful children greet me. They are all very sweet and excited to see me. And I just can't seem to get over how beautiful they all are with their blond hair and beautiful blue eyes.

Once I get out of the car, his wife Helen takes my arm and leads me to Lee's office on the upstairs floor of the house. I walk into his office and sweetly say hello before flashing a smile at him, and he lets out a hearty chuckle.

He is a tall man with dark hair and brown eyes, and always has a cigarette hanging from the edge of his lips, a Lucky Strike to be precise. He says that I'm cute and that my big Bambi eyes and beautiful red locks are like nothing he's ever seen, and that that what's going to get me places in the movie business.

But he explains that the first thing we need to do, was to come up with a different name for me, that Franny just didn't seem to cut it for someone who was going to be a star.

"What about Emma?" He suggests a grin. "It's simple, it's cute, it's perfect."

"Oh, I really like that." I agree with a giggle.

"Right then, what about a last name?" He asks in a mumble as he lights another Lucky and places it between his lips.

"Oh!" I say excitedly, causing me to almost jump out of my seat. "What about Pillsbury? It was my mother's maiden name." I tell him.

He slowly pulls the Lucky from his mouth and grinned as wide as I've ever seen.

"Emma Pillsbury…" He says slowly, almost as if he's taking a moment to hear the ring that it has to it. "It's perfect."

I smile brightly back at him, as I let it sink in that he will be the last person to know me as Franny. As of now I'm starting my life as a movie star known as Emma Pillsbury.


	4. Chapter 3

**Hey everybody, I know that this chapter his super late and I'm really really sorry. It's been a crazy week for me and I haven't had the house to myself up until now to type this all out. I have a speech to text software that I use to type instead of doing it by hand, and it's easier for me to do it when no one's around, hence why it's taken so damn long. Anyway, this is where things began to speed up plot wise and really unfold. Hope you enjoy!**

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April 3rd 1952

Today Lee takes me to Paramount Studios to shoot for a film. It's a small part, just two scenes, but at least it's work. As soon as we reach the set I'm immediately taken to hair and makeup before I even get the chance to take everything in. Lee walks along with me and sits down beside me as they put me in a chair.

He has been wonderful to me the past few years, and treats me like a daughter. He is truly the father that I never had as a child. He lets me spend time in his home and with his family. I even have my own bedroom there.

Lee has gotten me plenty of work, but not many big roles, but we're supposed to have a big meeting with some up-and-coming producer, and he says that this man will help make sure that I will become the star that I was always set out to be.

"How you doing doll?" He mumbles pulling out a pack of Lucky's.

"I'm doing just fine." I tell him sweetly and honestly as the hairdressers work with my mess of red curls, saying that they've never seen someone with this color hair before.

"Don't you be worrying if you're pretty little head about this meeting later, alright? Everything is gonna be fine, I talked with this guy the other day… his name's Will somethin', he said he's seen your stuff and promises he can make you the biggest star in the world." Lee tells me as he lights his cigarette and takes a puff, letting it dangle from between his lips.

"That's an awful big promise to keep." I say to Lee as the makeup artists begin painting my eyes and lips with many different colors.

"The guy seems good on his word." He says taking in a deep puff, before removing the stick from his mouth for a few mere seconds. "Plus, if for some reason he doesn't deliver on his promises, then all wring his neck for ya."

This makes me laugh a little, and his protectiveness over me is what makes me look up to him as sort of a father figure.

"You're my girl Em, you know that. He says with a little grin as he gets up to help me out of my chair once the girls are finished.

"I know." I giggle standing with him and kissing his cheek, before reaching to steal his Lucky from him, and take a small puff.

"What are you doin'?" Lee teases playfully before stretching the cigarette back and putting it to his lips. "Ya know, they're sayin' that smokin' could be bad for your health."

I just sigh and roll my eyes playfully, knowing that there is no use arguing with Lee over cigarettes. One of the few things he's serious about in his life are his Lucky Strikes.

Lee walks me to the set, and then heads off to meet with the producer while I shoot my scenes. He tells me to meet him once I'm finished for the day. I stand there and watch all the other actors being taped on camera, just waiting until my part comes.

And I watch I am completely awestruck when I see the famous and handsome Cary Grant stroll on the set to film his part in the movie. I'm completely surprised that he being the big star that he is, would take up part in a movie that was this small. I feel like a little girl being so starstruck by him and his presence.

X

After filming the two scenes that I had, I headed down a few hallways to Lee's office, and open the door to find him sitting at his desk with a cigar in his mouth instead of a Lucky and some man I don't know sitting in the chair across from him.

"Ah, there's my girl." He says excitedly grinning, his teeth holing the cigar. "Emmy, this is Will Schuester, the producer I was tellin' you about earlier… The one who promises to make you big."

"Hello there, it's very nice to meet you." I say going to shake his hand.

"The pleasure is all mine Miss Pillsbury." He replies with a grin shaking my hand back gently before sitting down again.

I flashed him a sweet smile before sitting down in the other chair next to him. Looking a him, I can't help but notice how he and he is. He has these gorgeous hazel gray eyes, chestnut brown curls that I secretly wonder how soft they would be if I were to run my hands through them, and a smile that could knock a woman dead off of her feet.

I look away quickly, hoping that he doesn't notice me staring as Lee brings himself to my attention.

"So." He says taking the cigar out of his mouth, and gently fiddling with it between his fingers. "Will here, said that he wants you in his next big movie that he is working on to get off the ground, and if that goes well, he wants you to be in the rest of his movies and kinda be like a part of our team."

"Really?" I ask a little too excitedly and eagerly, looking over at the handsome gentleman next to me.

"Of course!" Will says with a smile that's brighter than I've ever seen. "The work that you done so far, I think that it's absolutely phenomenal and that you could do so much more with your career, you could really expand yourself has an actress. And I promise to make you the next big star, the next Jean Harlow." He tells me assuringly.

He looks just as excited as I am, almost like he's starstruck by me. I've never had that before, I would give anything for people to be excited about me just like he is now, just by hearing my name, or just by seeing it in big bright lights.

"Well, that in that case I would love to work with you." I reply with a slight giggle and fictitious one of voice.

I notice a blush beginning to creep in his cheeks as he clears throat and looks away a little.

He appears down at his silver very expensive looking Rolex and check the time. "I'd hate to cut this meeting short, but I have some other actors that I need to meet with this movie for as well." He tells both Lee and I.

"Don't worry about it." Lee tells him. "Emma and I will be at that party tomorrow night that you were just talking about, so we can just sign the paperwork than, and have everything squared away."

"That sounds like a fine plan to me." Will agrees before getting up to shake my hand again. "It was very nice to meet you."

"You too." I breathe softly as his hand touches mine once again, and he smiles at me before heading out the door.

"You be careful with him sweetie." Lee warns me softly once when I was out of the room.

I think that he could sense the electricity that I felt between Will and I, and I know that Will could really feel it too.


	5. Chapter 4

**So I just wanna say that I'm sorry this took so long. I struggled a bit with this next part and have decided to break it into two separate chapters (Hopefully you'll be able to see why) I 'm hoping to have the next chapter by Tuesday or Wednesday for you guys, which means that there could very well be a double update this week! Please read and leave feedback!**

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April 4th, 1952

Tonight is the night of the studio party, and since it's at Lee's house, I spent the night here last night. After our meeting yesterday, I haven't been able to stop thinking about Will Schuester, and I know that Lee can tell by the looks that he's been giving me.

And I feel so unladylike to admit this, but I did have a dream about him last night. It was nothing sexual by any means, but it just felt wrong to be thinking about someone and any romantic way when I've just barely met them a few hours prior. I know absolutely nothing about this man, and yet my heart is beating like that of a giddy little schoolgirl. I've never felt like this about any other man before in my life.

Last night I dreamt, that he and I were laying in my bed together in the darkness, and we were just holding each other close. We were just looking at each other as if there were no two other people on this earth but us. I imagined that his arms were strong and safe, and what his golden brown curls fell like beneath my fingertips. And I woke up just as he placed a kiss to my forehead.

I woke up from my peaceful slumber just feeling sad and disappointed that the dream had ended so quickly. But then I remembered, that I would get the chance to see him tonight. I couldn't even finish my breakfast this morning because I was so excited and both nervous to be seeing Will again.

I am now sitting on my bed with Lee's daughter Lillian in my lap, trying my best to stay focused on the story of Cinderella. I've read the story to her so many times that I can memorize most of the parts, but she absolutely loves all of the pictures which is the reason why we still use the book.

I recite the next few lines without even bothering to look at the page, but suddenly stop has I see Lillian close the book and look up at me.

"What's the matter sweetheart?" I ask her softly as I gently run my fingers through her light blonde hair and pull her closer.

"Are you alright?" She asked me softly as she looks up at me with her ocean blue eyes.

"Of course I am." I say softly lying little as I kiss her cheek. The last thing I think Lilly needs, is to hear adult problems that she has yet to understand. I hate even remotely lying to such a sweet and innocent child, but sometimes it's almost like she is my own. Therefore, I'm more than determined to protect her the way that I was never protected as a child.

"No you're not." She says in a sweet little voice as she buries her face in the crook of my neck. "You skipped two whole parts of the story." The five-year-old tell me.

"I'm sorry." I whisper to her. "It's just that your daddy and I have this very big important party tonight, and I have absolutely no idea what I should wear." I tell her only half lying about what was bothering me.

"Can I help Emmy!?" She asks me excitedly with a bright smile.

"I thought you would never ask." I laugh as I gently tickle her sides. I laugh more as I watch her giggle and squirm against me. "I'll tell you what." I say after I stop tickling her. "Why don't you start looking in my closet for some dresses that think I could wear for the party tonight, while I go get myself something to drink?"

She nods and kisses my cheek before crawling out of my lap, and uses all of her might to open the double doors of my closet.

While my favorite little girl is preoccupied, and take the opportunity to go into the kitchen and reach into the back of one of the top cabinets where the liquor is kept. I quickly make myself a vodka tonic, and drink the contents of the class in a flash of a second.

I never used to be very fond of any sort of alcohol, but now as I've gotten older I seem to have acquired more of a taste for it. vodka tonics seem to be the only thing that I can stomach and a help to take stress away after a long day on set.

After I've had not just one, but two drinks, I rinse out my glass and gently set it in the sink before making my way back to Lilly.

"Did you find anything sweetie?" I ask watching her rummage through my clothes.

"What about this one?" She asks pointing out a red dress that stops just above the knee, dragging it behind her as she carries it over to me. "It would go with your pretty hair." She adds smiling sweetly.

"That's absolutely perfect." I tell her with a smile, my heart melting just a little.

X

"You look gorgeous sweetheart." Lee tells me as I make my way downstairs once all of the guests start to arrive. "You'll knock Will dead off his feet." He teases giving me a wink.

I blush a little, and freeze seeing Will straight ahead of me and walking in our direction. The two men talk and shake hands, before Will looks right at me.

"Always nice to see you again Miss Pillsbury." He says sweetly with a smile that I'm certain is brighter than the one he gave me at the meeting yesterday.

"Please, call me Emma." I tell him with a not so innocent giggle.

"So, let's get the business over with so we can have a good time." Lee quickly interrupts noticing that Will was getting a little flustered.

"Of course." He agrees pulling the contracts from the inside of his jacket pocket, and graciously hands me a pen before showing me where I need to sign everything.

"I'm gonna go put these in a safe place in my office, you two kids have fun." He says, flashing me a wicked smirk before disappearing upstairs.

Will and I sit on the sofa together for a while and talk in between mingling with some of the other guests at this party. It doesn't take me too long to notice that he gets uncomfortable quite easily. but after talking with him, I soon realize that I'm not one that he seems to be uncomfortable with, it's all these other people around his that he's uncomfortable with.

"Would you like to go for a ride?" I ask softly, leaning in close to him so that he can hear me.

"That sounds perfect." He replies with a gentle smile taking my hand in his. "Let's go."


End file.
